Crazy Diamond Remix | Mindwaves of the Xiren Persuasion

*Shh…Don’t Wake Me

In life on December 19, 2011 at 5:14 pm

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast” ~ Lewis Carroll

One of my best friends recently advised me to not “dwell on the impossible”… the only problem is, I don’t believe in the impossible… Can someone please tell me what that is?

From the moment I could make sense of things, I’ve always dreamed of and fantasized about the impossible and the improbable. When others asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I’ve responded with long lists of mythological creatures and faeries before eventually making it to a mermaid, and other more probable things…

I probably over-dosed on mythologies, fairytales, fantasies, even science-fiction… and as the silly child, I believed all to be true. I drew my own faeries, created my own myths, and even invented a coded language with my friends. Despite being a city girl, I’ve spent much time in beautiful gardens, and I would let my imagination run wild as I chase after and dialogue with flower fairies ( I was a bit crazy, or just wildly imaginative, and with time, as my friends and most people grew out of the silliness, I seemed to have gotten more struck by its intensity.

My imagination is my most prized possession, and my art feeds on it. Thank goodness my career allows me to indulge in these fantasies, because as actress, “impossible activities” is just part of the many exercises that form our training… The Meisner technique demands the actors to live truthfully under imaginary circumstances, and this is where my weaknesses in the “Starbucks world” transform into real strengths…

I am excited by what might be, not what is, which I find so boring, and passé. The very existence of what “is” leaves no room for creation; it’s the unknown that captivates me, pushes me, and drives me. I’m a dreamer, if you can’t tell by now. I dream all the time, unconsciously at night, and consciously by day. But I’ve served my time in the “Starbucks world,” and conditioned by it, I still have trouble letting go, but that’s far from impossible.

Despite where we may be in our minds, ultimately, we all live in the Starbucks world, it is what it is. But sometimes, a little fantasy goes a long way. If you ever reminisced of your childhood, you know what I mean. You know the feeling that you miss. Because you, too, no matter how battered by life you may be, you once believed in fantasy…

Sometimes, imagination is the only cure to everything you find dull. When I was last wandering the streets of the Starbucks world, my instincts led me to a tattoo shop. Scribed in Tibetan, inked in my skin, is the word “fantasy”. So if ever I lose my way, I’ll never be really lost…I’ll always have something to hold onto, I’ll always believe. 

Even when I’m awake, I’m dreaming… so either dream with me, or pass me by, but whatever you do, don’t wake me…


  1. My imagination was the ONLY thing I had as a child. It literally saved me from losing my mind. I would get lost in imaginary lands, escape my body, float up into the clouds so I could remove myself from horrific abuse.

    Never let anyone extinguish your imagination! How beautiful you have such a strong sense of it. Many could learn a thing or two from you on the topic.

    Great post, thank you for sharing.


    You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it. – Robin Williams

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