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Posts Tagged ‘Finding’

Lost & Found in NYC

In NYFA journals on December 28, 2010 at 5:25 am



From Quotable Cards, Barnes & Noble, NY, NY.

New York’s been on my mind a lot lately, mainly because it was where I last felt (extremely) inspired. I learned so much while studying at the New York Film Academy (summer 2010), so over the next few posts, I will share some journals that were originally written for my acting technique class, taught by the wonderful Rebecca Tourino.

{ Originally written on July 20, 2010 }

Context: we each had to attempt a task that was impossible for us to do, prior to the live-attempt in class, within a given timeframe. I picked the splits. If I practiced like I tried, I’d get it back.

Journal: The second session of the class unfolded with each person’s “impossible task” performance. Even though I often tell myself, “do what’s possible, try what’s not”, I’ve never come across such an exercise before, and I’m really glad that I did. Investing belief in success is one point to keep in mind, but also having a clear goal is in and of itself a fundamental part of establishing a strong sense of self. Goals are often hindered by obstacles, but they can also be affected by distractions.

When I first arrived in New York, I was immediately overwhelmed – not because it was my first time here – it’s not, but because during those initial few days, I had a lot of time and space to myself, and not a lot going on to keep myself occupied. My goal of
being in New York this summer is to train at the NYFA, but prior to classes starting, I often found myself in a state of wander.

At the time, there was the heat wave, and without AC in my apartment, I spent a lot of time outside, in and out of air-conditioned stores, while walking lots around the city just to explore and become acquainted with the cultural richness there is. I felt a bit lost at the time, and I didn’t know why. All of a sudden, in the middle of the seminar, I came to realize that I fell victim to all the distractions in this city that never sleeps… I felt lost because I was distracted by everything else that was going on around me. However, what’s worth noting is that distractions are only recognized as such when one is clear about one’s purpose and focus. I feel that I am now… and because of this new found certainty, I am able to not be distracted.

Fast-forward to now: Words don’t do it justice, but the roller-coaster experience of being lost-and-then-found in what could be a daunting city, inspired quite the epiphany. It pushed me to dream, to dare, to risk. Alas, qui ne risque rien, n’a rien. Like the quote on the card, life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself; yet, finding yourself seems to be a pre-text. A bit of a catch-22; #DefinitelyJeNeSaisQuoi.